I have only recently become a Christian, yet God’s love has helped me in irreplaceable ways, specifically with my mental health struggles. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
College Orientation
I will be moving across the United States for college in a few weeks, and last month I was doing the orientation sessions. I went alone, and I was really excited at first. After the third and final day of orientation, I started to second-guess my decision. Should I have stayed in my home state? Should I be this far away from home? My thoughts were spiraling. I started to feel alone, anxious, and unworthy of this amazing opportunity I had worked so hard to achieve.
This is when the intrusive thoughts started to come. I usually don’t have a high volume of them, and after years of therapy and hard work, I have managed to be in recovery from my OCD. But on terrible days, the thoughts come back. I was in a store buying food and thought, “If I don’t get a fork with my food, I am going to kill myself.” I feel silly writing it, but that is how OCD works. It is irrational, but the fear and anxiety consume you, and those thoughts feel real.
I was upset and angry at myself for thinking such a thing. I was also scared to be alone with a thought like that, thousands of miles away from my family. Something inside me told me to go to another store farther down the road. I walked in the door and got some dessert. The cashier stopped me as I pulled out my credit card to pay. He said that it was on him. When I began to insist on paying, he said, “When God puts a blessing in your life, do not block it.”
OCD Recovery and God’s Love
I felt a deep sense of peace, gratitude, and warmth wash over me. I thanked him and told him I was having a hard day, and his actions and words had helped immensely. As I left the store, a young couple stopped me and said, “I love you, and Jesus does too.” I felt overwhelmed and started to cry. God continuously supports and loves me in the face of anything that happens. God’s love and unwavering care saved me that day, as it has many times. You are not alone. God is always with you, and He loves us no matter what.
Thank you for listening. May God bless you.
